When responding to Crystal and Reba, explore their potential

 When responding to Crystal and Reba, explore their potential revision strategies and offer additional tips and support. Keep an eye out for revision practices that may need fine-tuning for their specific essays. If you've learned something new that will help you, note it! Offer your own support by identifying specific areas and strategies to support their revisions. 

Crystal post

As I begin this last step in writing my Critical Analysis essay Of Mother Tongue by Amy Tan, I will most importantly slow down, and give myself plenty of time to complete the assignment. I often rush through, stressing out over the finished product. The first thing I shall do is to submit my draft to the writing center to receive feedback and suggestions. I will use these suggestions and feedback to correct any weak areas in my essay. I believe the biggest thing that I will need to work on is the wording of my thesis statement. I have a hard time fluffing my words. I am a simple but blunt spoken person, and its hard for me to make something sound fancier than it is. By submitting the paper to the writing center, hopefully I shall learn some ways to fluff things up. 

My second step of revision shall be digging in the small revision stage. I shall read the essay line by line, multiple times and maybe out loud to my dog. This will help me find in spelling or grammar errors that I may have missed. I will also make sure that each paragraph has the required sentence amount and that they flow and work together. This will also be the step that I verify that my essay is correctly sited as is required by APA. 

The last step in my revision process is I plan  to give my paper to a close friend of mine, that is actually a editor. I hope she can be of some help to find those missed opportunities that I am sure I will have. I hope by doing these revisions I will be able to submit an essay that I am proud of and that will get me a decent grade. 

Reba post

  I have come so far in this class as far as writing. I think I have improved tremendously. I have learned so much on information on writing the perfect essay. The tools provided for us also make it so much easier to write. I think the constructive feedback that I have received during this course has been the post help. 

For revision  my essay I plan on using the writing center for sure. Getting their feed back allows me to be able to fix mistakes that I did not even realize were mistakes. I think using the writing center has helped me so much. Even though it took me a while to figure out how to even get to the writing center.

Another technique I am going to use in my essay is reading it aloud to someone else, and then letting them re read it, and let me know what they think. My husband is my go to essay reader, as he doesn't hold back on his opinion. 

Lastly I will read my essay starting from the end and work my way up so therefore I can correct my grammar  errors. I am not the best speller in the world, and I often make tons of grammatical and spelling errors that cause my grade to not be at it's best. 

Be constructive and professional in your responses when responding to Tyresha, Taylor, Veronica, and Woodrow post

Tyresha post

I really don't know that much about my family but only when it comes to holidays we like to get together. I do know my great-grandmother but don't know when she come from. Gowning up we never really talked about where they comes from. Everyone fin my family is so private about everything. You really don't know what is going on in the family. Dad work and is from South Carolina and mom grow up in Newark New Jersey. Dad worked and mom was a stay at home mom with six kids. We didn't have a lot gowning living in the projects but we made the best of everything. Speaking to different cultures that come to America they love it here. The only thing is that they didn't realize they had to work so hard or work more then one job just to live nice in America. One culture even said they was told America had a money tree. We are far from having money just fall off a tree. Life is never really what you think when living in another country.

Taylor post

As I'm sure most of us have a interesting background with our family my family's path on my mother's side came over during world war II to get away from Germany, my great-grandparents moved with my grandfather to Minnesota. Well there are no slaves in my family's history that I know of they did try to escape war and sought freedom. I think the way immigrants assimilate into American culture is very diverse and heavily depends on the area as well some areas are set up so that the American culture is more or less forgotten because so many of the people that live in these areas are not from America or have family values that are not American. I think when anyone is around other people they should try to assimilate somewhat although your home life is very private and you shouldn't be forced to change your culture because of where you live. I personally enjoy some areas that express a different culture, the clothes and food are so foreign to me it is very fascinating.

Veronica post

The law in our textbook, "vehicles are prohibited on the paths in the park" I would say is very unclear and nonspecific just because not every vehicle is the same. It needs to be more specific as to which vehicles are prohibited in parks. It also depends on who made the law as well and when. If the law was made up years ago, they wouldn't be able to foresee what vehicles we have today and what classifies as a vehicle. Using common sense to know that a car, truck, or motorcycle would apply to this law but some people just don't use it. The park should prohibit such vehicles because they can do harm to others carelessly. They shouldn't prohibit bicycles, children's pedal cars and battery-powered remote-control cars because not only is it good exercise but it's for the children to have fun. That's the whole point of the park is for them to have fun. The law should be more detailed as to which vehicles are prohibited to the park and be updated every few years to keep up with the society and changes that are evolving.

Woodrow post

After reading about this I think that vehicle's prohibited on paths in the park is something that can be interpreted in several ways. Without knowing or clarifying what a vehicle is it would be hard to decide what is prohibited. Some people might think that a vehicle is something with a motor. Other might say that it is just anything driven on a street. Some might think it is everything even including bikes, toys, scooters, skateboards, hoverboards, or anything but walking. I think the law should state what is permissible and that would clarify to the people that are using the paths to what can be used and all others would not.

I think that the law should be interpreted to exclude motorbikes, bikes, and the children's pedal cars. This is because these items are much larger than someone walking and are harder to control especially for the younger users of these items. These can all cause harm to a person using the paths and that is why I think it goes with the harm principal.