It’ll seem like it sounds weird, but it actually sounds normal. Do them a favor and laugh at their silly jokes, even Talking to strangers doesn’t have to be like pulling teeth. Don’t wait too long to make your approach. Take a deep breath, think of a good opening, and go talk to the person! Try a simple “Hey, I’m [your name]!” Make a witty or helpful comment about something that’s going on around you. Ask simple questions about where the person comes from, what they do, or how they came to know a mutual friend of yours. Begin with small talk, ask authentic questions, and let the conversation naturally bloom into something interesting. Remember: odds are that this person is just as nervous about talking to a complete stranger!

Part One of Two:
Small TalkEdit

1. 1Think of an opener. If you’re going up to someone and planning on talking to them, you need a conversation starter. A conversation starter will reassure the person that you follow social cues, you’re friendly, and are genuinely interested in them.Don’t always overthink it. A simple “Hello, how are you?” or “Nice day, is this seat taken?” work really well. Simple is best.Comment on something that’s happening around both of you. Maybe you’re both at the mall, and she’s shopping for shoes. You can go up to her and say: “Those are nice shoes. They’d look great on you.” But don’t get in their comfort zone.Ask a question about something that’s happening around you. Ask for directions to the library (and pretend you’re going); ask for the time (and pretend you’re busy); or simply ask them if they know of any lunch/dinner spots nearby.
2. 2Try a bit of small talk. Small talk gets a bad rap, but it shouldn’t. Small talk tells us a lot about the other person, and hopefully leads to more meaningful conversation. But it’s a step along the way.Ask the person what they do for a living and tell them what you do. Having a discussion about your jobs isn’t the most tantalizing conversation (unless you’re a professional skydiver or underwater explorer), but it can be interesting to see what other people do for a living.Ask the person where they grew up. “Did you grow up around here?” is a perfectly fine small talk question. “What was the city you grew up in like?” is a great follow-up question if they didn’t grow up nearby.Ask about their hobbies. A good way to frame this question is: “So, what do you like to do in your free time?” Hopefully they have exciting hobbies and fun stories to tell.Don’t talk about the weather, whatever you do. No one really cares about the weather, and it’s a sign that you’re trying to make small talk without being personal. Instead of relating to the rain or sun, try relating to the person you’re talking with.
3. 3Be funny if you can. Lots of people think they’re funny or witty when they actually aren’t. If you regularly get sympathy laughs from your friends, or crickets from strangers, when you try to be funny, don’t make an effort here. If you’re actually a funny person, don’t be afraid to let some jokes fly.Don’t go overboard. This person doesn’t know your sense of humor, and is probably still trying to figure out whether she or he likes you. A couple off-color jokes and your opportunity to impress them is probably long gone.
4. 4Pay attention to your body language. Body language says a lot about us. It can betray us when we’re bored, anxious, excited, happy, or sad. Be sure you’re sending your new potential friend the right vibes with your body.Maintain good eye contact. Look the other person in the eye, at least some of the time, when you talk. Don’t stare at your feet or off into the distance.Smile periodically. You don’t have to have a smile plastered over your face the whole time, but make an effort to smile sincerely, even if that’s not how you’re feeling inside.Keep your hands under control. Don’t fidget with them. More importantly, keep your hands off the other person. Remember: They don’t know you yet, and you don’t want to come off as too friendly.Talk slowly and laugh at their jokes (even if they’re not that funny). Calm yourself down by talking slowly. It’ll seem like it sounds weird, but it actually sounds normal. Do them a favor and laugh at their silly jokes, even if they’re bombs.Advertisement