I will provide you a essay and in which you have to edit it as per the guideline. The essay is attached below.
The changes you have to made are
in this essay there is an imbalance between the “they say” and the “I say”. After there is a quote, explain to the reader how this source helps support your overall argument rather than making the quote stand for itself. The revision guide will help you to make the next following changes.
Introduction/Claim/So WhatThis is where you show your readers where you are jumping into the conversation (They say, I say). For theintroduction, you want to get right to it and tell your audience, that you are responding to the they sayanissue that you have been studying this semesterand responding with an I sayyour claim/contributionabout the issue.
Reasons/EvidenceYour body paragraphs should clearly indicate the reasons you are using to support your claim and evidence tosupport your claim. In these paragraphs, you should name your reason in your topic sentence and then supportthat reason with either (logos, pathos, ethos) or some combination of the appeals. Remember that you may useanecdotes, personal observations, and personal opinions in addition to evidence from the annotatedbibliography. Some things to keep in mind: your reader should clearly understand the reason you are using tosupport your claim (topic sentence); a discussion of the reason and set up for either personal example orquotation from your research to lead in to the example; clear evidence/examples that supports the reason;discussion of why this evidence/example supports the reason and why its important for your audience.
Visual Representation of a Reasons/Evidence paragraph:
1. Name your reason.
2. Discuss the reason/set up for example/evidence. If using quotation from the annotated bibliography,give author credentials if appropriate.
3. Give example/evidenceremember to introduce your quotation with a signal phrase.4. Discuss example/evidence and its relevance to audience of your publication.Naysayer/CounterargumentThis paragraph will work in many different places in your paper. You will want to consider what placement willbe most effective. Remember the four moves we have been talking about this semester in your counterargumentparagraph:1. Naming and describing your opponent2. Describing your opponents position fairly3. Making necessary concessions4. Responding with a rebuttalConclusionYour conclusion will be fairly short, but you want to restate your opinion about the issue. You may take a riskhere and give your reader something to think about for the future, make a statement about a call to action/ achange that needs to be made, or offer potential ideas for solutions or future research. Finally make sure youaddress why the readers of your chosen publication will care or not about the issues the essay presents
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