Keiser University Conflict Resolution Discussion and Responses

Description Forgiveness/Reconciliation COLLAPSE In this discussion you will reflect on a serious interpersonal conflict and consider the topics of reconciliation and forgiveness. Begin by doing some research on destructive conflicts and importance of reconciliation and/or forgiveness. Share what you learned about this topic by synthesizing ideas from your textbook and another scholarly source and presenting them in your own words. Briefly describe a serious interpersonal conflict you have experienced in your life. How did it affect your relationship with the other person? Did you or the other person attempt reconciliation/forgiveness? Why or why not and what happened to the relationship? Finish by exploring if forgiveness and reconciliation should be the ultimate goal for all conflict resolution and explain why you think so. Remember to focus on the communication (i.e., sending and receiving messages) and its impact on interpersonal relationships. POST 1. Forgiveness can be seen as “freeing the victim from a preoccupation with the wrongdoing and the offender.” It is also seen as “a milestone on the road to recovery” (Ransley & Spy, 2004, p. 164). Hocker et al explains reconciliation and forgiveness as “interpersonal conflict resolution processes that arise from a mutual interest to come back together with those who have been separated by serious conflict” (p. 320). I think both processes can be beneficial. I agree that forgiveness can be a milestone on the road to recovery. If you are holding onto a grudge or the resentment from a conflict, then it will be hard for you to move on.            I have a very serious interpersonal conflict that I have experienced in my life. Before my wife and I started dating, I was engaged to another woman while I was in the military. I was stationed in North Carolina, while my fiancé stayed in Ohio, where we are from. Unfortunately, my fiancé was not faithful and she cheated on me while I was gone. This really affected our relationship. We broke up immediately. I was not going to be able to trust her after this incident. She did try to reconcile, but I just could not. I knew I wouldn’t be able to forgive her, our relationship would never be the same, there were major trust issues. I did not try any type of reconciliation or forgiveness; I knew it wouldn’t work. I was very hurt at the time, but now I see it as a blessing in disguise. Since she and I broke up, I was able to reconnect with my wife and I could not be happier.            I agree and disagree that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the ultimate goal for all conflict resolution. In my example, I knew I could never forgive this girl for what she did, and our relationship would never be the same after that. It would have been a waste of time and energy to try and forgive her. That is time and energy I could use for something else that may have a better outcome. For the most part, I would agree that forgiveness and reconciliation should be the ultimate goal. However, there are some things that just cannot be forgiven.WC=380ReferencesHocker, J. L., Berry, K., & Wilmot, W. W. Interpersonal conflict (11th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.Ransley, C., & Spy, T. (Eds.). (2004). Forgiveness and the healing process : A central therapeutic concern. Taylor & Francis Group.2.As the English poet Alexander Pope once penned, “To err is human, to forgive, divine” and I find solace in that because forgiveness is not entirely something we humans need to award others, rather something that we deserve. Something we deserve to give to ourselves, from ourselves because harboring animosity in any situation, is only going to hurt us. A few years ago I was dating a woman who was friends with me, before we dated, and we shared a mutual circle of friends. We broke up after 6 months and my best friend at the time admitted to me he had feelings her after we broke up, and I did not care to make a deal of it at the time when he told me. A few weeks pass and they begin dating and I decided to excuse myself from the situation and cut them off. I kept in touch with some of the people in the group, they all knew what happened and I shared my side of it and shortly after I began to stop talking to all of them entirely. As our text book said, one may feel as though the only possible choice is to turn a relationship into ash (just as with the tree) (Hocker, Berry, & Wilmot, 2022).Fast forward to today and I have forgiven them for the way they betrayed me and I have forgiven myself for letting my guard down and allowing myself to be played in that way. I certainly have not and will not reconcile with them honestly because they do not deserve it. I have forgiven them and myself, and I sleep soundly knowing that I harbor nothing towards. I do feel that forgiveness and/or reconciliation should be ones ultimate goal when they find themselves in an interpersonal conflict. However, I feel that one should only do what they feel is best for themselves and what frees them from the darkness of animosity. Forgiveness is for ourselves, reconciliation is for the offending party, if one may choose to share it.ReferencesHocker, J., Berry, K., & Wilmot, W. (2022). Interpersonal Conflict. New York: McGraw Hill LLC.