Discussion #2

Discussion #2

Middle age comes with many changes, physically and mentally.  It is important as a future social worker to understand the various components of middle age as well as be able to assist individuals experiencing a “mid-life” crisis or those in a relationship with someone going through a mid-life crisis.

Review the case scenario below from “Brenda J.” who is describing her current scenario with her husband to Dr. Kurt

1)  First, how would you educate Brenda on the physical and intellectual changes that occur in middle adulthood for men?  (minimum of 2 paragraphs) – 6 points

2)  Second, how would you educate Brenda on male climacteric as well as a mid-life crisis? (minimum of 2 paragraphs) – 6 points

3) Third, identify what feedback would you give Brenda regarding her concerns and provide 2 resources local to your community that could assist her.  Include where the service/resource is located and/or how it can be acquired as well as why the resource would be helpful.  – 6 points

4) Respond to one other student’s post – 2 point

*Support your response with info from the text and/or professional resources.  Make sure you use proper APA citations for the text and any other professional resources.  Points will be deducted for incorrect format.

BRENDA’S CASE SCENARIO

Hi Kurt, I am really confused about this whole midlife crisis story with my husband: I don’t know where he is at in the stages of his midlife crisis/transition. He has been staying with his mother but he has also had more than one issue going on.

My husband (age 45) he had a total ankle replacement over a year ago. Was taking the narcotics and I have been noticing the change in him being distance and him not wanting sex, not wanting to communicate, etc. If it was not me every-time initiated it, he would like fold up in a ball like a baby and place blankets between us. I started reading into the signs and symptoms of the narcotics addiction and oh my gosh to my surprise, he was having all the signs and symptoms….unusual thoughts or behavior, fear, anxiety, confusion, sexual desires etc. I learned narcotics are sex drive killers.

Then in August I was sitting at work and decided to text him and I said ‘Hello, how’s your day? I have noticed you are not you is there something wrong?’ And to my surprise he text me back, ‘I don’t want to be married anymore, I don’t want to answer to anyone. I love you and the kids, I am lost, confused, angry and I try and control it, it’s me, not you.’ WOW! I started crying at my desk and thought, ‘Oh my god this can not be happening.’

He started letting his hair grow and everyone has told him but me it looks like crap… :). He would not open up to me as I begged him to, ‘What is wrong?” What did I do?’ Our oldest daughter and grandchildren moved in with us in July 2014 and he was very upset that I let this happen, he yelled and screamed at me. Then he asked for a divorce, he loved me but he was not in love with me.

Then something clicked for me, he’s having a ‘Midlife Crisis/Transition’ and being addicted to the pills. He was already living at his mom’s, I asked him to come home several times that we could work on this and even asked if he would seek marriage counselling, and he said what good is that going to do. He will not even look me in the eyes when he talks to me, he will not communicate with me unless it has to do with him and him only. I will text him and say, ‘Hello how are you?’ Days he will not text me back. I have asked if there is someone else…He says No or Nope.

He is so secretive about what he does and how he does it. I am not chasing him. My sons and him had a hunt this weekend and he came to the house and got all the stuff ready. And just as they were leaving he would not look at me when he said it, but he said ‘YOU LOOK NICE.’ I have not heard those words in years.

I have done a lot of reading and I have also printed up papers for him to read stories about Midlife Crisis. He don’t answer me if I ask questions. I am just crushed. ‘Yikes’ My husband acts as if he is a kid in a grown mans body.

I don’t text him everyday. I give him space but am I doing the right things? I don’t ask about our relationship or where it is going. He has not asked about divorcing. I don’t know if he is having an affair that has not been made light of. I am so confused by the mixed signals he gives. He tells everyone to mind their own business.

And I have lost some weight since July when I had planned on losing some weight (I didn’t do it for him, I did it for me) total of 40 pounds. As much as I have read on your website and all the useful information, I have educated myself as this is time for me as well: keep myself busy and also work on my love and compassion for others as well.

Please if you can shed some light, is there hope in my life? I will wait out the storm. Does he come to his senses? Wow!! By the way he has not given me back the key to the house, nor has he taken all his stuff.” -Brenda J.